Are You Trying to Create the "Perfect" Life for Your Daughter Without Her Input?
When I was in high school, I loved anything that made me feel like I was an adult - respected and valued. In hindsight, I think this meant I wanted the freedom of choice. Truly, the world was my oyster and I wanted to be the one to decide what to do with it. 🌎
At age 14, you’re often told what to do and no argument is accepted. Go to school, do your homework, eat what mom makes for dinner…
When my mom began to allow me to make decisions, big and small, I began to feel like I had more freedom. I also felt like I had more responsibility. The higher the stakes, the more carefully I made the choice. My mom never took advantage of the “I am your mom so I know what’s best for you” and allowed me to choose the life I wanted for myself, with some guidance, of course. Piece by piece, I created my own life.
Are you trying to create the "perfect" life for your daughter without her input, or are you helping her create a life she truly loves? Here are just a few things you can do with your daughter to help her feel like she is respected and valued:
🌷 Explore with your daughter. Better yet, teach her how to explore. For an entire winter, my mom and I would dedicate our Saturdays to hiking a new trail. One weekend we hiked over ten miles attempting to find “Lost Lake”. We never found it, but we got to be where no one else was, walking under icicles with incredible views (I promise it wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds). The most fun part about this hike was four years later when my mom and I went back to take this hike again, but instead during the summer. This time around, we found Lost Lake!
Our exploration didn’t stop at the outdoors. Sometimes, my mom and I would head downtown and just walk around. Any shop she wanted to go into, we’d go, and the same went for me.
🥘 Take her out to dinner - just you two. Every once in a while, when my mom would pick me up from after-school sports, she seemingly out of nowhere, would ask if I wanted to go out to dinner. She would order a cocktail and I would order a mocktail (this actually made me appreciate the craft). Usually, my mom let me choose an appetizer for us to share, then I got free range of the menu. Of course, I could get any dessert I wanted. This was SO fun for me. Pro tip: a lot of nice restaurants have early dinner specials. My mom and I took advantage of this and became regulars at our favorite restaurant which made it all the more special when we’d go.
🎨 DIY something, but do it together. From replacing a toilet to tearing down drywall, I’m telling you, together, my mom and I learned so much. We also took on some more creative projects like replacing and painting all of the kitchen cabinets. She let me help pick the color. Soon after, we painted a single wall in the kitchen with chalk paint. I was responsible for keeping it updated with new chalk designs for when we’d host guests. We called it a play house and I had a say in the blueprints and execution because my mom understood it was my home too.
You see, to have a choice is to allow the freedom of creativity into your life. Just giving your daughter a little more say in her daily life can help her learn to handle greater responsibility, think creatively, and build a stronger relationship between the two of you 💕