A Letter to my Mom

Dear Mom, 

There’s never a wrong moment to tell you I love you and to tell you that I appreciate you, but I have yet to get the chance to tell you why.  

I remember when Memaw passed away. I was around the age of 13 and didn’t understand the reality that you were losing your mom. Maybe I did, but I just hadn’t comprehended it yet. That was the first time I remember seeing you cry - in front of me, at least. You’ve always been strong, but somehow, seeing you cry made you seem even stronger. The magnitude of your pain came to life and I began to realize the adversity you courageously faced up until that moment. 

I’m 22 now and I still don’t understand everything. I still don’t know the things you never told me or didn’t want to tell me for fear of introducing me to a world that I was too young for. But, I am so grateful for what you have shown me. 

You’ve seen me through 16 years of school, competitive sports, and extracurriculars, but I want you to know that I see you too. I may not yet know the depth of the difficulties in parenting, but I know that I don’t know and that’s what I need you for. 

As a girl growing into a woman with responsibilities, I see you now more than ever. When I think my bills are hard to pay, I remember when you were laid off, concerned about providing not just for yourself, but for me too. When I feel alone, I remember you raised two daughters without their dad. That’s not to say I have it so easy or even so hard, but rather that I have a really good teacher who taught me how to fight through the tough things. You found ways to get us to the next job. You built a village around me and my sister. Now, you love to say, “everything always works out,” but I see the hard work and unwavering faith behind that statement. 

Mom, I love you so much. I’ve been hard on you, but as you also like to say, “it’s because I know you’re capable.” Just as you believe in me, I believe in you. I recognize that you’re human too and that raising me wasn’t always easy and still isn’t. Every day, I take a little less of you for granted :) 

I hope someday I can be half the incredible woman you are. Human or not, you’re still superwoman to me. 

💞Love, Lauren