Never Say This to Your Daughter
School’s out! Summer vacation may mean lot’s more quality time with your daughter… or it may mean she wants to spend every waking moment with her friends from school 🤷♀️ Either way, summer, winter, fall, or spring, it’s important to remember that our children are mirrors to what they see and hear daily.
Teenage minds are vulnerable and, trust me, they hear much more than we realize. We raise our kids to be good people, but we also want them to be confident and learn to love who they are. A confident woman is an unstoppable woman especially when her values are aligned with doing good.
So, how do we make sure we speak life into our daughters? I’ve gathered three things that I’ve noticed tend to make our girls feel insignificant and what we can do or say instead.
💗 Never compare her to other people… instead, surround her with good examples, including yourself.
The teenage years are tough enough as it is and a girl will naturally compare herself to others. People at school already talk about what’s cool and what’s not. Whether you intend to compare or not, your daughter may assume that something about her isn’t good enough.
On the other hand, if you’re comparing her in a way that puts her on top, this could also be conditioning her to crave this kind of attention, which is also not healthy.
My best piece of advice: stay away from talking about other girls altogether unless you’re asking about a friend.
💗 Don’t tell her to not be sad (or any other emotion)… instead, validate what she is feeling and help her develop a different response.
Telling your daughter to not feel sad or angry simply will not take those feelings away. It may make them worse! Let her know that you understand she’s feeling some type of way and maybe even tell her you’ve felt that way before too. Don’t try to give advice, but let her work through her emotions on her own, building the emotional intelligence that will carry her through a lifetime.
💗 Stop criticizing yourself… instead talk positively about the things you’re trying to accomplish.
Criticizing yourself in front of your daughter only shows her what to be criticizing in herself. For example, if you vocalize the fact that you think your legs are too big or your arms are too small, she will start to notice imperfections in these areas that create insecurity in her.
You may dislike something about yourself, but this can be reshaped into a different perspective. Vocalize a fitness goal or a health goal instead. Your daughter will see a lifestyle and goals rather than an imperfection she can’t fix.
Our approach to communication and leadership is everything when it comes to raising confident daughters. At the end of the day, our girls watch the way we treat ourselves, the way we carry ourselves, and the way we treat others. Let’s be the best examples we can be 💗
